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  • Misha Bogart-Monteith

Sexual Instinct 101

There are a few different names for this instinct—attraction, transmitting, one-to-one instinct—and it has felt to us that none of them capture this instinct perfectly. Naming it sexual instinct can be confusing for some, too, since it brings to mind the obvious: sex. It isn’t just about sex. Which is to say that it is still about sex, but that it extends beyond that. ⠀ ⠀ It’s helpful to think about the idea of “sexual” as being that thing that drives or compels you toward something that attracts you (though it doesn’t have to be a person). In other words, it is our instinctual drive for generating chemistry, overcoming obstacles in order to achieve objectives/goals, and the regeneration of self and resources. ⠀ ⠀ The metaphor of the radio is useful because it captures the transmitting nature, where the sexual instinct sends out a signal in the hopes of finding a similar wavelength/resonace. Once it is able to “dial in,” it merges into a kind of vibe where energy builds. It’s the instinct that transmits a signal out in order to find what’s sending energy back, whether it be in other people, an idea, a project, etc.

Ultimately, the sexual instinct wants to merge with whatever is “juicy” and the end goal is transformation and self-renewal. The intelligence of the sexual instinct is that it attracts what we need: focus, energy, opportunities for reproducing, and even transcending one’s self.


#lifestyle #decisionmaking

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