Social Instinct 101
The social instinct is so much more than “socializing.” Rather, it is the drive to prioritize our need for tribe, connection, community support, and contribution. ⠀ ⠀ If we take the example of bees and how hives work, the intelligence of the social instinct is that it is able to navigate hierarchies (who’s the queen bee) and know your role in a broader context; each bee is doing their part and knows where they fit in the larger puzzle. ⠀ ⠀ For the social instinct, safety is belonging to the hive, rather than being out on your own. It’s also the ability to “read a room,” to intuit the needs of others and move in to offer support. More often than not, it’s the drive to say “yes” (where preserving is the drive to say “no” and the sexual might say “tell me more…”).⠀ ⠀
It’s helpful to remember that we all have each of these instincts available to us, it’s just a matter of what we prioritize in any given moment, but especially to create the feeling of safety. Next week, we’ll talk more about instinctual bias and the downfalls of prioritizing our go-to instinct above all other needs.⠀ ⠀ Both of us have learned so much about ourselves through getting to know and recognize our #Enneagram types, but understanding instinctual stacking has helped each of us understand how we prioritize our resources and has made a HUGE difference in our marriage—basically every conflict we have can be boiled down to our instinctual bias. I’m not exaggerating. But not many people are talking about instincts, so we decided to start a conversation here!