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  • Writer's pictureMisha Bogart-Monteith

Social Instinct Zone

“It feels like pulsating and warmth. I’m very aware of all the moving parts and bouncing between them, picking up on everything, trying to weave it together and make sure no one is left behind.” ⠀ - Caroline, SO Dominant ⠀ ⠀ The zone of the Social Instinct feels buoyant, light, open. There’s a wide, pano focus, a bird’s eye view of the relational field. The eyes are soft and playful. The instinct feels flexible, able to scale around layers of the relational field--one-on-one, small groups, large crowds, national and even the global community. Julie Harris described the shape of the attention as scaling rings of circles. Imagine talking with a friend and in your mind drawing a circle around the two of you--a circle that represents alliance, support, and belonging--and let yourself abide in that connection. Now imagine yourself at a dinner party and draw a circle around the whole table full of people and feel that connection. Finally, imagine drawing a circle around your whole city and feel into the sense of belonging. ⠀ ⠀ My SO friend describes it, “When I’m fully in my social instinct I will be pretty unaware of my self-prez needs (even though it’s my second instinct) and feel nourished by the connection. I lose hunger and other bodily sensations and feel that pulsating warmth that’ll keep me going.” The felt sense of the relational field doesn’t depend upon the dimension of time and space; a SO instinct can experience that connection across the country or globe. How does the social instinct feel to you?

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